Untangling the gender knot, part 523: On withholding sex as a form of punishment
This concept sloshes through pop culture (see for example: The Lysistrata Gambit on TvTropes.org), and I've always considered it dodgy at best. The idea just seemed nonsensical to me (spoiler: it still does). I've recently come to think about it some more, because a friend of mine told me that this has happened to him frequently in past relationships. I've found this curious but hey, just because there's something I can't relate to doesn't mean it doesn't exist. But - yesterday, we somehow arrived at this topic again, and I asked my friend whether maybe the women in question didn't actually intend to punish him by withholding sex; instead, maybe they were simply upset with him and thus not in the mood for physical intimacy. Which turned out to be a completely new idea to him. This struck me as extremely odd and made me think of the old trope of female sexuality existing not in its own right but as a means to an end and mostly a tool for exercising con...